Why Stillness Feels So Uncomfortable (and How to Finally Feel at Peace in Your Own Life) . . .
Is it just me… or are there others out there who feel like this too? . . .
If you’re in your late late 30s, 40s, and beyond… you know this feeling.
You’ve lost parts of yourself along the way—through grief, change, disappointment, identity shifts. The spark feels dimmer. The to-do list feels louder.
Even when you do something big, it barely lands. There’s a moment of “yay”... but then it’s back to business. Back to holding it all together. Back to being the strong one.
You look around at your life and think . . . life isn’t bad—but it doesn’t feel alive anymore.
It feels like a beautiful cage.
You’ve done the damn thing. Achieved, succeeded, held it all together. You’ve outgrown old versions of yourself, stretched to meet every demand — personal, professional, emotional.
But still... there’s a whisper.
“Is this really it?”
At some point, many of us hit that moment—that existential WTF that starts as a whisper and eventually roars: Why am I here? What’s the point of all this?
It creeps in during a restless night…
A routine that suddenly feels well routine…
A quiet moment in the car when your playlist hits a little too hard and you realize… something’s off.
There’s a dull ache. A subtle fraud. A low hum of “not enough.”
You don’t say it out loud, but the thoughts are there:
what if they find out I’m afraid?
That I’m not as together as I seem?
That I’m not really who I say I am—not at work, not in this relationship, not even in this version of my life...
You scroll Instagram and think: what do they know that I don’t? Why does it look easier for them?
But, darling —let me stop you right there and tell you that:
Almost . . . just about . . . nearly everyone is winging it.
There’s polarity in everyone. No one fully “arrives.”
And maybe the purpose of all this… is figuring out the purpose of all this. (. . .annoying, but also—kinda freeing.)
But this is where we get stuck. In the loop.
Chasing peace like it’s hiding at the bottom of your next glow-up or reinvention.
Meanwhile, you’re drowning in the noise:
The noise in your head.
The noise of the world.
The noise of every influencer, algorithm, and “expert” telling you how to “do life.”
Honestly?
Can everyone just shut up and let you find peace?
Because here you are, in that weird, wobbly in-between—the tension between “what was” and “what’s next.”
Not broken. Just… awakening.
The good news?
You don’t have to burn it all down. You just need to shift the lens you’re living through.
So in this post —I’ll be sharing 3 bold (but soulful) mindset shifts to help you do something most women secretly struggle with:
✨ Feeling safe in stillness . . .
Not just quiet-the-room stillness —nope I’m talking about that deep, inner calm you’ve been craving — the kind that doesn’t depend on everything being “figured out.”
Because when you expand your capacity to be — without fixing, proving, or performing — something incredible happens:
You start to feel comfortable in your own skin.
So let’s talk about how to cultivate inner peace… even when life feels overwhelming.
Ready? Let’s go. . .
Here’s what we’ll explore together in this post —(You can click below to jump to any section):
🔥 1. Unlearn the Programming That Made Stillness Feel Unsafe
Stillness doesn’t always feel like peace — sometimes, it feels like danger.
Like you’re slacking. Falling behind. Wasting time. Like someone somewhere is judging your value based on your output.
Because somewhere along the way, you learned that:
Stillness = laziness
Pausing = weakness
Doing nothing = failing
And this didn’t come from nowhere. It came from the world that tells you:
Your value is in what you do
Rest is a reward, not a right
If you’re not producing, you’re falling behind
So now, even when your body wants to slow down, your brain won’t let it.
You feel twitchy. Unsettled. Like you should be folding laundry or launching a side hustle instead of sitting still.
Even now, you might notice:
Guilt the second you try to rest
Anxiety when there's nothing to “do”
A strange compulsion to multitask your downtime
Or that your version of “relaxing” is...scrolling, planning, or reorganizing the spice drawer
. . . And that’s not a personality flaw. That’s programming . . . societal conditioning.
You weren’t taught how to be with yourself. You were taught how to be useful to others.
So of course your system resists stillness. Stillness has been mis-coded as “unworthy.”
And when your worth is tied to what you produce, pausing doesn’t feel peaceful — it feels like identity death.
But lets reframe that to help you see it from a much more elevated perspective:
Rest is not the opposite of productivity. It’s the foundation of clarity.
*Until you unlearn the lie that your worth lives in your output, peace will always feel just out of reach.
This shift isn’t about doing less. It’s about untangling your identity from the grind.
Here’s the deeper truth . . .
Your nervous system isn’t resisting peace.
It’s protecting you from the story you’ve attached to it.
And the first step? Naming that.
Because once you see the programming, you don’t have to keep living by it.
In Hustle Detox — which is the fancy schmancy name for my 1:1 coaching 🙂 — we gently unhook your nervous system from the grind-soaked mindset you didn’t choose, and give you new inner language for what safety and peace actually feel like in your body.
We don’t shame the old patterns.
We create space to rewrite them — softly, intentionally, and in a way your system can actually receive.
Because stillness — your sacred peace and self-preservation — isn’t something you have to earn.
It’s something you’re allowed to reclaim, darling.
🔥 2. Learn to Sit with the Noise (Instead of Trying to Silence It)
Stillness isn’t about stopping your thoughts. It’s about being with them differently.
You don’t need a monk-like mind to feel peace. You just need permission to stop fighting your own head.
Because here’s what usually happens:
You sit down to “relax,” and two seconds later, your brain hits play on the greatest hits playlist:
“What’s for dinner?”
“You forgot to reply to that email.”
“Why did you say that dumb thing at lunch in 2019?”
—Cue the spiral.
—Cue the guilt.
—Cue the urgent need to get up and “just knock a few things out real quick.”
Sound familiar?
Buuut —you’re not failing at stillness just because your thoughts don’t disappear.
That’s not how minds work.
That’s not how your mind works — especially if you’ve spent most of your life being the one who anticipates, fixes, manages, and keeps it all together.
You were probably never shown how to stay with yourself when things got noisy, messy, or unclear. You were taught to:
Solve it
Distract from it
Outperform it
Or shove it down with a polished smile and a productivity plan
So now, when you sit in silence and your thoughts rush in, it doesn’t feel meditative — it feels like mental whiplash.
Stillness doesn’t feel like peace because you’ve only ever known it as the absence of distraction, not the presence of safety.
But here’s what you may not have been told:
. . . that you don’t need to escape your thoughts.
. . . that you just need to build the capacity to be with them.
Stillness isn’t about clearing your mind . . .
It’s about not letting every thought drag you down a rabbit hole.
It’s about staying.
Softening.
Saying: “Yes, mind, I see you… but I’m not going to chase you today.”
And when you practice that? . . .
The thoughts loosen. The grip softens. And your nervous system starts to recognize: “Oh… maybe it’s safe to just be here.”
Sooo, if we were to work together . . .
Inside the Hustle Detox —I would help you build your tolerance for stillness gently — no breathwork bootcamp, no forced meditation cave, no spiritual gold stars required.
Instead, you learn how to:
Create space inside yourself, no matter what’s happening around you
Stay grounded when your thoughts get loud
Feel your feelings without getting swallowed by them
Be with your inner world without abandoning yourself
Because true peace isn’t found in a silent mind — it’s found in a steady relationship with the noise . . .
🔥 3. Create a Gentle Ritual to Meet Yourself Daily
Stillness isn’t doing nothing. It’s doing presence.
Let’s talk about the thing that sounds dreamy but secretly terrifies your nervous system: stillness.
You crave it. You long for peace.
But the moment things get quiet, your brain kicks into full-throttle chaos:
“I should be doing something.”
“This is unproductive.”
“Am I being lazy? Am I wasting time?”
“Why does this feel so… uncomfortable?”
But the bold truth . . .
Stillness doesn’t feel unsafe because you’re broken.
It feels unsafe because your body has been trained to equate rest with risk.
Presence has become a pressure zone—when it should be your sanctuary.
And if peace is what you're after? Stillness needs space to land.
Ritual is what makes that space sacred.
Darling —you don’t need another routine.
You need to culivate . . . nurture the relationship with yourself that includes YOU at the center—
. . . Not just your roles.
. . . Not just your output.
. . . Not just your ability to keep it all together.
And that’s where ritual comes in.
Not to add another “should” to your day...
But to carve out a moment where you get to exist without needing to earn it.
This isn’t a big-deal performance.
It’s a small, intentional check-in.
A pause. A coming home.
So instead of striving to feel calm, let’s gently stretch your capacity for stillness.
Try this . . .
Set a timer for five minutes.
No agenda. No breathwork. No music. Just you.
Let the silence feel weird.
Let your mind fidget.
Let your system soften — in its own time.
This isn’t a test.
It’s a trust fall — with yourself.
Because the goal isn’t to “nail” stillness. The goal is to show your body it can be with you... without bracing, rushing, or fixing.
And when your system starts to trust that stillness doesn’t equal danger?
✨ It stops tightening.
✨ It stops performing.
✨ It starts opening to peace.
Consistency—not perfection—is what rewires your nervous system.
Ritual becomes the invitation.
And safety? That becomes the soil peace grows from.
Sooo —You Might Be Wondering . . .
“But What If I Don’t Have Time for All This?”
That’s a totally valid wondering . . .
This is such a go-to thought for those of you who are used to managing everything — and who’ve learned to see stillness as indulgent or “extra.”
You’re holding a lot. You’ve been the strong one for so long that even rest feels like a luxury you haven’t earned.
And honestly? No one’s handing you extra hours in the day.
So let’s be real —this isn’t about carving out hours of silence on a mountaintop.
It’s about reclaiming the micro-moments where your energy is quietly bleeding out.
Because the thing is . . .
—You don’t need more time.
—You don’t need a life overhaul.
—You just need to stop leaking energy into roles, routines, and reactions that no longer fit who you are.
Start small.
Start honest.
Start with five minutes where you stop performing and start listening.
Stillness doesn’t require time.
It requires attention.
Five minutes of truth is more nourishing than five hours of going through the motions . . .
And if you’re thinking, “But I don’t even know where to begin . . .” — well that’s exactly what we untangle inside Hustle Detox.
We don’t slap a routine onto your already-packed schedule.
We help you build a relationship with yourself that fits your life — no guilt, no grind.
The Shift Into Stillness Starts Here
Okaaay —let’s recap the 3 shifts that help you expand your capacity for stillness (and finally stop spiraling every time life gets quiet):
✨ Unlearn the Programming That Made Stillness Feel Unsafe
✨ Learn to Sit with the Noise (Instead of Trying to Silence It)
✨ Create a Gentle Ritual to Meet Yourself Daily
These aren’t hacks. They’re holy shifts.
This isn’t about becoming more productive or performing peace. It’s about coming home to yourself—quietly, gently, and for real.
To the version of you who is:
💛 Already whole
💛 Already wise
💛 Already worthy
She’s still there. She never left.
And she’s ready for you to slow down long enough… to finally remember her.
✨ So No, Darling — It’s Not Just You.
And yes — you’re asking the right question.
Not “How do I fix myself?”
But “How do I finally feel at peace with myself?”
So the only question now is . . .
. . . What do you want to do about it?
Ready to Feel Safe in the Stillness Again?
If you’re craving support to gently unravel the hustle mindset...
To reclaim your peace... And to finally feel at home — in your body, your life, and your truth — I invite you into my 1:1 coaching space.
This is where we slow the spin,
→ so you can start living from your center.
✨ We shift out of survival mode.
✨ We untangle the noise.
✨ We rebuild your relationship with stillness — one grounded breath at a time.
If that kind of presence feels like a relief, like a remembering... then let’s talk.
💛 Book a complimentary 30-min “Get Real” Call —let’s explore what becomes possible when you stop performing... and finally feel safe to just be.
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Click Here To Book Your “Get Real” Call
Love Big ᥫ᭡
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